American society is awash in the concept of positive or successful aging.  Look in any advertisement geared toward older adults and you will most likely find a heterosexual couple, in their early to mid sixties, gently leaning on each other while flashing a bright white smile that practically dings as you scan the page.  Browse the book store and you will find plenty of books to help you — age well, age positively, age smartly, age healthy, age outrageously.  When older adults are included in the media, it is often doing some sort of exercise program that shows a fit, gray-haired vision that conveniently dispels common fears of what aging means.

Is Positive Aging Bad?

Of course positive aging is not a bad thing.  In fact, having examples of older adults who are not wasting away in the corner of a decrepit facility is a wonderful breath of fresh air.  Encouraging people to remain active and trim IS a worthwhile endeavor that leads to lower risks for stroke, heart disease, and chronic illnesses such as diabetes.  Positive aging also leads us to question assumptions about age.  What is aging?  When do we get old?  Is old an age or an attitude?  All these are fine questions and ones that are becoming more and more a part of the national conversation as the baby boomers move into the traditional age range thought of as older.  The benefit of the positive aging message is that it challenges the stereotypes of what being an older adult means.

What is the Dark Side?

As powerful and encouraging as the message of positive aging is there are a vast number of people for whom aging is not positive.  It is a sad fact that genetics, environment, behavior, mental health, and sheer luck all have a say into how our later years of life are lived out.  Healthy active professionals have had a stroke and can no longer care for their home or themselves like they have for so many years.  Vibrant grandparents who have spent a lifetime creating community for themselves and others must transition to a nursing home — confined to a room or two with someone assisting them in getting their daily needs met — a true role reversal.  These are the realities of aging for many people.  The positive aging message rings hollow and reeks of promises unfulfilled.  It simply isn’t true.

The positive aging message is not negative per say, but it is certainly not a nuanced idea.  Positive aging plays into collective fears of what old age can or might be.  It allows us to push aside any consideration that aging will be anything less than what we hope it will be.  The danger is that a cognitive dissonance will result when the experience is so vastly different from the expectation.  If it is great enough, the psychological fall out can be tremendous.  Depression, withdrawal from social situations, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety are often by-products of a less than “successful” aging.  For these people, aging is not a marketing campaign of sunny days and flowers.  It is a strategic campaign to survive on life’s terms not their own.

It is my belief that the focus of positive aging is more for the young than for the older adult.  Our own internalized fears of aging and discomfort with the physical conditions of older adulthood can tempt us to believe that people “can and should” do anything they put their mind to, a uniquely American myth.  The truth for a large swatch of older adults, and younger adults for that matter, is that our hopes and dreams are modified by illness, ability, access, and resources.  So is it all doom and gloom?

Light in the Darkness?

I would suggest that older adulthood, both the positive and negative aspects, is an opportunity for creativity and growth.  This creativity and growth are not born out of a model of self-improvement so popular in our “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality but instead stem from resilience and a desire to remain connected to the social fabric we are born into and help create.  Take for instance a resident in a long-term care facility who edits the monthly newsletter despite poor vision; their interviews a source of joy and sometimes chagrin to staff and resident alike.  Or the community volunteer who finds themselves not only a patient in short-term rehabilitation but also a confidant for other patients unsure if they can manage again on their own.  Perhaps a homebound older adult makes blankets for newborns or participates in an internet support group for people with disabilities.  Do simple acts that were once effortless take coordination? They do for a large selection of our clients.  Do family dynamics and friendship change due to death, illness, and relocation? They do.   Does the promise of a completely independent existence elude older adults? It does for many. The goal is to embrace the situation, manage the options and try to remain connected in relationship with others.

I have heard the older adults I work with state, “aging is not for wimps.”  In fact it’s been suggested that if 30 year olds had to endure what the average 80 and 90 year olds do there wouldn’t be many functioning 30 year olds. Just like any stage of life, old age can be hard or it can be easy.  The message of positive aging, however, reads like an instruction book of practices, beliefs and potions that will ensure an easy end of life.  I would like a little more acknowledgement of the often known but unspoken beauty of courageous acclimation and resilience to circumstances not of our choosing.  This creativity, and brashness, this need to connect to find self and somehow give voice to our experience allows for creative avenues to find pleasure and make meaning in our world. And this is what aging is about and it is positive.

This article was edited by Heidi Enriquez.

Thank you to Tiagø Ribeiro on flickr.com for the photo.